[Craig Matheson]

Charles,

Thank you for sharing that you chose to per your message.

First of all, not that I believe suicide is some sort of irrecoverable post-life sin—especially not in the way some human-speaking-for-god may figure—but, I’m glad you made your decision to not.

On the flip side, my mother failed to getting ‘witchcrafted’ by my father during the late 1980’s as she was then-realizing the relatively high degree of bipolar function to her brain much later in her life compared to my younger such cosmic compulsion to realize. She was pretty much a genius at whatever she put her heart & mind toward, but when ‘loved ones’ (as in my father) serpentinely begins mastering devilish designs for Hermit Crabbing your entire life, while always claiming innocence … (cough) … GASLIGHTING!!! … while simultaneously working your children snake-like against your loving image, well, sometimes things can get a tad tricky within family to say the least.

Within such skullduggery, my emotionally-retarded father preyed on her increased vulnerability in prayer / her increased ways to meditation (as a means to become a more compassionate person), but, in truth, she didn’t need much work to do on that end … as she continued her search beyond physical things being depended upon for true happiness. She was as if the Giving Tree archetype to the Shel Silverstein namesake story … as I currently know her to still give metaphysically post-life; having fallen to suicide by 1990—arguably more of ‘a saint’ than any possible Church delegate may understand.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1TZCP6OqRlE&pp=ygUoc2hlbCBzaWx2ZXJzdGVpbiByZWFkaW5nIHRoZSBnaXZpbmcgdHJlZQ%3D%3D

Personally, I’d sustained my own substantial suicide attempt back in 2012. The identified culprit? Daddy-issues — for him (as a d-bag know-it-all Atheist; identified being almost as bad as the opposite by sporting ever his own religion of absolutism around per Whatever He says) having planting his own particular brand of ‘seed of god’ in my young head by cunningly/charmingly trashing any form of spirituality anyone else may’ve chased (including that my mother was chasing while alive; in turn tricking my brain to develop grave embarrassment for her loving image) he – by default – became all there was ‘left’ for my mind to settle upon—His foolish image.

Hence, it took me such a scientific-approach through CBT (such numerous Thought Records of practice per the system) to rebuild my identity, without any of that/His crap involved, going forward for learning ‘how to be’ absent anyone else’s Idea of God being germane to my psychic structure in individuation.

Charles, to your mention about people going for spiritualism mainly for an imbalanced fear of death, couple things:

– the archetype of a witch wishes to live forever for excessive fear of death, probably because of them knowing a ‘hellish experience’ awaits (in just working off of the many ‘hellish’ NDE testimonies I watched via YouTube)

– Carl Jung, to avoid such excessive fear, advised people to see death more as a beginning to a new chapter in being (in so many words), while, in about 1958, he saw such excessive fear trending possibly toward a problematic state of mass psychosis — gone cataclysmic during Covid-period?

At any rate, thanks again for expressing per your post. I felt to sincerely understand the lion’s share.

In efforts here to wrapped up my post, a poem for which you may associate:

THE SEEKER’S PATH

While heavy may seem the load

along the burdensome taxing road,

If compassion remains the goal,

then freer releases the soul.